Saturday, March 19, 2011

My Hellacious Day (Or How I Found Prince Charming)

This is a repost from September 25, 2009. I need to share for all my new friends who may have missed it. Enjoy!

"Ever had one of those days where you should have just stayed in bed?

Today was one of those days for me.

I started the day excited since Julie so kindly agreed to let me borrow her extra truck for the weekend so I could haul myself and my students over to Triune Saddle Club arena (about 5 miles from the barn) to ride in their footed arena. GREAT, right?! Sure is!

So… I drove myself to Manchester to pick up Julie’s truck and then headed to Arrington to pick up Bobby’s trailer (have I mentioned I love my friends?). I called Julie (call #1) on the way there to ask a question and nearly stopped her heart- no, nothing wrong. Then, I couldn’t figure out how to get to the trailer, so I called Bobby (call #2) to figure it out. Great- find the trailer and set up for the maneuver. I manage to get the ball almost lined up the first time, but not quite (miracle I got anywhere near it, truthfully). So I pulled forward, lined it back up and NO WAY! I got it centered JUST RIGHT. So, I lowered the trailer and waited for it to grab. No grab. So, I pulled the truck a hair forward, thinking that ought to do it. Nope. Bounce on bumper of the truck. Nope, nothing. Rock trailer. Nope. Look at ball- hard. REALLY think. “Oh! The ball is the wrong size.” So I call Bobby. (Call #3) Luckily, his receiver hitch is in the trailer.

So I switch it around and get the trailer hooked up and pull out to the driveway. I turn on the hazards to check my electric- no lights. Call Julie (#4) to ask if there is a trick to the truck. Nope. Call Bobby (#5) to see if there is a trick with the trailer. (Nope.) Decide to drive with no lights. Its only a few miles. Oh well.

GREAT. So at this point, I’m fairly “on schedule.” I get to the barn and I’m worrying the whole way, of course, since I have no lights and I’m driving my friend’s truck and a different friends trailer (conveniently, they match!). I get to the barn, pull around the back to drive around the loop driveway (the ONLY reason I’m able to borrow rigs, because I sure as HECK cannot back a truck and trailer) and OH LOOK… the construction workers have the driveway blocked. Glorious. So I manage to successfully back the trailer around the corner and get oriented in the right direction in under three minutes (a feat, trust me). At this point, I start really fretting that I’m getting ready to overload Julie’s 1990 half ton truck… so I call (#6) her and double check tongue/trailer weights. We decide I’m okay. I load my tack, head down the driveway to load horses by their pastures, since they’re all over creation. 45 minutes later, Brandy is on the truck. (Yes, 45 minutes.) I love carrot sticks, incidentally. They are EXCELLENT tools for encouraging a horse onto a trailer.

Then I catch Ari, and tell him he’d better load. He does. Thank goodness. At this point, Anita calls to tell me our farrier is around the corner and does anyone need anything? Nope, we’re good. (Remember this.)

So, I get to Triune, unload, tack up, have a lovely ride on Ari and Brandy stands perfectly behaved at the trailer. I get off Ari, walk him out and look at his feet- he’s pulled a shoe. Surely you’re kidding. So I call the farrier (who was just here, remember) and tell him Ari’s got a shoe off. He heads back in my direction. I tell him I’ll meet him in 45 minutes. I get on Brandy, have a lovely ride, Ari stands nicely by the trailer. Brandy and I have a nice ride.

The Calm Before the Storm...


I untack and begin to load Brandy. She was being fairly well behaved about the whole thing and I was about to put the butt bar up when (we’re talking 2 minutes here) Ari decides HES DONE. DONE. Sits back and BREAKS HIS LEAD ROPE. CLEAN IN HALF. Then what does Ari do? He doesn’t go visit the horses on the hill or eat the gorgeous green grass all around us. He high tails it for the road. NOLENSVILLE ROAD. Does he get to the road and stop? Oh, no. Of course not. He runs ONTO THE PAVEMENT- IN TRAFFIC, FRIENDS- and starts trotting down the road. I am CHASING him down the road and luckily, the traffic around him has stopped and someone is following him down the road with flashers on. I’m still running behind him on the side of the road, and of course, not gaining any ground.

He finally runs off the road, about a 50 feet from the entrance to 840 (insert minor heart failure). At this point, a lovely woman in a Bonneville picks me up and brings me down the road to where he has run off. She shrugs helplessly as I look into the field where he is about a half a mile away, running laps next to a fence line with another horse in it…

Enter Prince Charming.

A lovely gentleman stops in his very nice, very clean, very new pickup truck. I run to his truck and jump in before I even ask if he minds going off roading (8-10 inches of rain in the last week here in Middle TN, lets not forget) to catch my horse. Without hesitation, he cuts his very nice, very clean, very new pickup truck (The Truck) across a hay field after my errant, panicking, totally out of his ever-loving mind and lucky I didn’t have a gun, horse (The Idiot). As we’re bouncing across the hay field, I tried to make small talk… because, did I mention, this is the. Single. Most. Gorgeous. Man. I. Have. Ever. Seen. In. My. Whole. Life. And, no, its not just because he took The Truck across a muddy hay field to catch The Idiot. He was gorgeous. And he smelled delicious. I looked like hell. Of course. And I am the sole owner of The Idiot, who I’m sure is the bane of Prince Charming’s existence, at the moment. Excellent, right? His truck was immaculate (I was not) and while the bed of his truck was filled with construction equipment, he did not look (or smell) like a guy who had been doing construction all day. Hm. I noticed that he had a GPS and a satellite radio, but I did not notice if he was wearing a ring.

He introduced himself by name. I think it was Drew (cue Taylor Swift) but in the middle of telling my roommate this story, I forgot his name. Totally forgot. It left my head completely. So its either Drew or Paul, I’m pretty sure. And his truck was dark silver. And he looked and smelled delicious.

Oh yeah, The Idiot is still running free on the hillside. So, luckily, he ran through a gate (gates mean fences, right?! Who knows, the field is huge!) and P.C. blocks it with The Truck (I cringe at the thought of The Panicking Idiot forgetting that The Truck is not jumpable OR pushable). Luckily, The Idiot saw that helped had arrived (Mom, what took so long!?) and stopped. And nuzzled me like he’d done nothing wrong. Jerk.

Prince Charming asked if there was anything else he could do. (Marry me?!) “Well, Prince Charming,” the stinky, muddy, sweaty horseback rider asks, “Can you go back up to the arena and babysit The Mare I left tied to the trailer (You know, the one I’ve had for less than a year and didn’t know what being tied was until 10 months ago? Yeah, that one.) until I walk The (really, very sorry) Idiot back up to the arena?” Down a heavily traveled two lane highway? “Sure,” he says, “I’ll go check on her.” And he did.

Did I manage to get his number? Name? Address? Social security number? Instant marriage proposal? Nope. He made sure The (very apologetic) Idiot and I made it back in one piece and wished me well and drove off into the sunset.

And Brandy stood tied the whole time and never moved a muscle. The farrier was quite irritated that it took me so long to get back to the barn.

This is my life."

 What you also need to know is that, after this day, because my dearest friends promised to terrorize me until I followed though, I posted a sign out in front of my local feed store- right across from Triune- trying to track down PC.

 No, I never did find him again, but wouldn't it have been fun?!

I took them back to Triune a day or two later... and they stayed like this:

And have never been allowed to be tied to the trailer ever again.

1 comment:

  1. hahahahahahahahaha that is excellent. Dream Man, where did you go?!